I-Deal-Lifestyle Newsletter Autumn 2015

Hold on, here comes another Seasonal Transition.   Fall is arriving soon. The first day of Summer this year was June 21st, 2015, and with all Seaonal Transitions it may have brought on an intense, tiring and moody start. but here we are and the summer is almost over.  Fall season starts this year on September 23rd, 2015.   So continue to enjoy the summer by giving a dinner party, go out to dinner with friends, go dancing and kick up your heals.  Summer is a very healing time of the year.

Seasonal Transitions can be daunting if you are not aware of what comes along with them.  Even if you do not meet criteria for a Seasonal Affective Disorder (link)  you may have cranky, tired and restless behavior with Seasonal Transitions.  The most difficult Seasonal Transition is Winter to Spring, then Spring to Summer, and the easiest Seasonal Change is Summer to Fall and second easiest is Fall to Winter.  Getting the kids ready for school, planning a fall vacation and or just recuperating from a summer vacation is not the end of the earth, but here are some tips to make it easier.

STAY HEALTHY

The biggest factors in staying healthful and balanced are to eat well, sleep well, have good relationships, exercise and stay active and social.  Also just recognizing and realizing, that you are going through a Seasonal Transition, will remind you to increase your coping strategies.  Coping strategies: Eat Well, Sleep Well, Communicate Well, Staying Organized, Socialize, Stay Productive, Take a Class, travel...whatever makes you  feel free, happy and lively. 

One of the great gifts you can give to yourself every season is an Organic Fruit and Vegetable Basket from your local Farms.   Getting on an organic delivery service will help you eat vegetables and fruit that are in season and save you lots of time grocery shopping.  The size of your basket depends on the size of your family.  Also eating cage free organic eggs, grass fed meats, organic meat and fresh water fish will improve your health.  Taking in liquid amino acids, hot baths, teeth care, regular massages, and general good hygiene will make you feel renewed and rejuvenated.

Taking vitamins and minerals regularly, eliminating harmful sugar substitutes, hydrogenated oils, too much alcohol, smoking while increasing exercise will also be helpful.

Getting counseling and or coaching for any emotional challenges will also clean out the pipes for a fresh new look at old challenges.


STAY ORGANIZED 


Obviously for obvious reasons staying organized creates stability and a sense of calm.  Having easy access to everything you own, staying current with bills, paperwork, banking, and having a clutter free space = better lifestyle.  De-cluttering before school starts and or another season of holidays will make you feel accomplished and easy going.  Getting your emotional self organized is a good idea too.  Getting a life coaching session to sort out difficult decisions and or to make a career / life change is important.  Two heads are always better than one.  Organizing your office, bedrooms, closets, garage, living areas and kids toys are just a start to getting a whole home and or business organization system.  Don’t be worried to tweak a system that did not work out for you.




SLEEP WELL

Sleep cycles vary with each Season.  Usually in summer people require less sleep, although some people run on an opposite clock....we all tick differently.  Fall, well, you just fall asleep...pretty great sleep.  Fall is a pretty easy going time in the beginning and then you want to gather energy, momentum and discipline to get ready for the hussle and bussel Fall brings with school starting, holiday season preparation and shorter days/less sun.  Winter brings on some sleep challenges if you're not careful.  Too much sleeping in Winter leads to decreased motivation, depression and weight gain.  Insomnia leads to irritability, decreased concentration, and apathy.  Prescription sleep medications and over the counter remedies increase mood instability and cause only more disturbance to your sleep cycle in the long run.  Winter also brings stomach issues from too much sugar, alcohol and heavier food consumption...seems none of can stay away from the table around the Holidays.  Higher sugar consumption starts with Halloween, then Thanksgiving and the finale is Christmas....by New Years Eve you could be crashing while forcing yourself to stay up for Midnight.  Ironically it is also when we think about our New Years Resolutions...yet we can't think since we are bleary from all the parties.  You will best think about your life and the New Year in February.  Remember SUGAR is really BAD for you, yes, even in small amounts.

When I was a Medical Social worker, years ago, I worked on a Skilled Nursing Floor where people get increased hospital care due to surgeries, serious illness, accidents etc...  I performed Discharge Planning.  I would look at the patient's chart to link them to resources, while discharging them, and crazily enough, 80% of the elderly patients suffered from diabetes.   Epidemic proportions of people will end up with diabetes from ingesting too many processed, high sugary foods and drinks.  

Now that we are still having summer remember first to have fun!  It's summer for heavens sake!  Think smart about drinking plenty of water, decrease dairy or eliminate it altogether (fresh fruit sorbet instead of ice cream), eat lighter food fare with more fruit, decrease alcohol, rest a lot, and wear sun protective eyewear and clothing, increase exercise, more & more water, more sunscreen (keep applying...it is not waterproof), and then just kick back, put on a bathing suit and swim through the wonderful summer with joy and purpose!

Marla Stone is a retired Social Worker / Therapist who provides Lifestyle Consulting and Professional Organizing Services.  www.i-deal-lifestyle.com and www.southocwellness.com
Contact Marla at 
[email protected] or call 949-709-7000 for a free 30 minute phone consultation or just to say hi!

Getting organized in North Orange County and South Orange County is a big step towards having the home, office, bedroom, bathroom, pantry, garage, living room, business and kid's rooms that you always wanted.  But what do you do with the stuff you don't want anymore during the editing process of the project?  First of all you make sure you don't sell or donate anything that you still love, that is sentimental, useful and or purposeful.  Second identify items that are worthy of a garage sale or an estate sale versus items that will go to family, friends and or charity.  If you go the sales route then where do you sell your stuff?  Well, on OC Treasures on Facebook of course.  

OC Treasure Hunt is designed by a Professional Organizer in Orange County named Marla Stone.  Marla thought of the idea after over 800 customers in the past five years constantly wanted to sell their precious treasures or junk.  She states "you know another household's junk is another household's treasure".

Over the years thousands of dollars of her client's items were going to charity thrift shops, but now with OC Treasure Hunt everything is selling quickly and efficiently.   "My clients have great furniture, clothing, toys, electronics, kitchen, garden, tools, appliances that they just can't seem to find a buyer for anymore on Craigslist, so they turn to alternatives and Facebook is it!"

Marla is an expert (NAPO) National Association of Professional Organizer who understands the meaning of belongings.  "Many people don't mind releasing items they have held onto and cherished for years, but they want to know the object will have a home where it will be loved and taken care of."  People hold onto things that are not serving a purpose, they are not useful, or loved or even sentimental because they spent good money and they feel guilty that they don't want it anymore.  Marla states "don't feel guilty, just find it a new home and be happy someone else will love it and you will get some of the money you spent back."

Clearing out clutter or Grandma's china or furniture you have tired of, clothing that is not your size anymore but in great shape, exercise equipment, or even old records and knickknacks is a good idea if they are not of interest to you.  "It is stuff that just takes up your Real Estate" explains Marla.

Marla also provides Estate Sales Planning and holds Garage Sales regularly for customers advertising on OC Treasure Hunt and other on-line posting sites to get the best show and sales.

If you are interested in getting organized, having an estate sale, or want to know more about Professional Organizing let us know at www.i-deal-lifestyle.com
949-709-7000

Hoarding, cluttering, collecting, saving, acquiring, and or storing large collections of items you rarely use, or that you will never use, may pose a problem when it gets in your way.  When items pile up, because you think you may use them "someday", yet they are on the floor in piles, in corners, under the bed and filling up your space drastically, then you may know you have a problem.  Admitting the above challenges, though, is difficult for most people who are doing it.  Why is that?  Well it could be the old slogan that "cleanliness is Godliness".  So does that mean if you are not clean and tidy that you are not Godly? "No" says Marla Stone, retired therapist, now turned Pro Organizer.  Being clean on the outside doesn't get you closer to God.  Getting closer to God gets you closer to God.   Getting organized also is not a natural behavior.  Becoming orderly is a learned skill. 




People who are good at organizing their belongings, and keeping track of how much they own, rely on traits such as: Pattern recognition, ability to sort items into like categories, spatial and analytical skills, communication skills, ability to identify feelings versus thoughts, knowing the difference between a want and a need and most of all using the word "will".  When we say "I will" instead of "I need", unless it is actually a necessity, that keeps us alive, we are more apt to follow through on tidying up.  So stating "I will do my laundry" will actually get the laundry done. 

Some reasons people also may be blocked from getting their space straightened up is that they may suffer from emotional and or personal challenges.   Many people that are challenged with disorganization and or hoarding challenges often have suffered numerous losses of loved ones, or they may have clinical depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, attention deficit disorder, attention deficit hyperactive disorder, dementia, be traumatized from childhood or just life in general.  Getting to the core issues blocking organizational motivation is important in order to get organized on the outside.  "The inner is a reflection of the outer", Marla states. 

Having an organizing buddy, such as a non-judgmental friend or family member can also be of tremendous help.  "Two heads are better than one" theory often is the solution to editing large amounts of belongings.  Working with Professional Organizers who do not push you to "get rid" of your belongings, but rather make good decisions about your belongings is always helpful.

Know also that there are healing strategies and techniques that can get you more clear on the inside, freeing up your motivation to get organized and stay that way.

Find an organizer in your area below by contacting Marla Stone, Professional Organizer at [email protected]

Marla Stone, MSW, Pro Organizer, Décor and Feng Shui Specialist, Life and Business Advisor

949-709-7000

To be or not to be with Clutter.  There are so many Professional Organizer terms, thoughts, ideas and philosophies about why people have so much clutter and can't control it.  Personally I believe clutter is comfort and discomfort all in one.  It is a love / hate relationship with our stuff that is created as an easier love / hate relationship than with friends, family or people or relationships.   Otto Rank was the person that started to understand how people perceived objects or even images in their mind to take the place of a personal relationship with mother or father, while Fairbairn coined the term "object relations".  Melanie Klein a psychoanalytic genius theorist started to understand infants relationships with their mother's parts, and recognized that babies eventually realized that the breast, the child had been sucking on and having a relationship with, was part of the mother as a whole.  The "independent" breast was initially the love object of the child, and not necessarily the mother in total.  So as a theorist myself I surmise that as soon as the child realizes the breast is part of the mother, and has any contention with the mother, the breast is not as exciting, as it becomes associated with the mother.  

Next, as you can surmise, any objects including bottle, bears, toys, teething rings, dolls, toy soliders, balls, puzzles and keys become the next independent objects the child loves.  These objects are given to the child from the parents, but are not part of the mother or father, yet are controlled by the mother or father.  So a new relationship forms with "independent" objects, although the objects, at the parent's discretion, turn up or slip away without the child's control.  This lack of control over their loved objects make the child feel powerless at times and annoyed and frustrated so much so that when the love object returns there may be an unhealthy attachment that starts to form.  We all know the "blankie, or binkie, or snuggly" blanket theory.  Baby child is given a blanket to "comfort" them.  Then the parents, at their own will, when recognizing the child's love attachment, to the blanket, may manipulate the blanket, as a tool, for conditioning the child to be obedient, furthering the unhealthy attachment to the blanket.   The objects for children can be soothing to the child and an ally against the unhappiness the child feels with the parent training tactics.  T

As the child gets older television, video games and phone become the number one object of focus and love for the child.   If you think of Television as a "controlled substance" you can see clearly how the parent / child relationship surrounding watching t.v. can be distressed and disturbed.  Obviously putting children in front of a TV or video game instead of healthful, mindful and playful interaction with the parents is a very bad idea.  We now are a society that finds GREAT comfort with television.  Television in small doses and with very creative programming can be a fun and delightful thing, but when it is about watching mindless, soap-operaish, drama wrenching stupidity it is definitely robbing your life away.  In fact given a choice to choose Television over any other objects, in the long run T.V. would probably win.

In severe cases of object attachment there are people with significantly unhealthy relationships with objects.  The objects have become allies against every person that is in their life or enters their life.  The objects don't allow the home to be cleaned, they cause dangerous pathways, or no pathways.  The objects become broken and pose possible injury, or they become dust suffocation objects.  I have had numerous clients on breathing machines due to lung damage from all the dust their loved objects collect.  So in essence the things they love the most are killing them literally.  The blind love of the objects is like a person having a relationship with a batterer, becoming a victim of addiction and affliction. To have a home pile up, not be able to use the kitchen, the living areas and sometimes not even the bathrooms, but still go on living life as if nothing is wrong is denial in a large form.  The people with object attachment often don't really care about their objects as much as they care about having them.  They love the stuff they collect and they have so much of it that they can't even find the things they love the most.  And in my research with the people that over-collect and make a big mess I get the love of stuff and the object attachment.  If matter did not matter we would all live in Teepees and have a drum and skirt on with a possible peace pipe or two.   Not to knock the American Indian lifestyle, as I am moving towards minimalism, but most people would eventually miss their bed, their couch, clothes, toys and their T.V..

So the work I have been doing with people that have "object attachment" as I call it, are working on identifying objects that are truly sentimental, or purely attachment, memory invoking, and or that have a real pull on them so they can go to the next step.  They also realize the difference between needing to breathe, eat, sleep, get sun, eliminate, drink fluids and have shelter versus wanting things.  They understand that NO objects are needs.  The next step they realize is that the objects that trigger their emotional body never filled the hole of having inadequate relations with their mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, friends and loved ones.  The dolphins, cows, bears, jewelry, purses, shoes, clothes, books, records, papers are NOT GOING TO FILL THEM UP.

Then we symbolize the objects.  Usually the dolphins mean frolic and play they are missing with others, the cows are the way they feel, happy, tail waving in the wind, but often eaten and ravaged.  Bears replace the cuddling they are not getting or never really had, jewelry means they are rich and cherished, purses are about prestige and status and shoes about grounded and established, clothes are "I will be prettier or more handsome", records are "I'm interesting and or isolative and don't need anyone, but my music" and papers, well papers are "I will gain more knowledge and be smarter or informed".  These are just examples and not how everyone would symbolize their own objects.  Symbolism must come from the person, not from the Organizer or Coach. 

Next we talk about a reasonable amount of stuff for one person.  What is a reasonable amount of clothing for a retiree who rarely socializes?  What is a reasonable amount of books for someone not currently reading and addicted to television?   What is a reasonable amount of jewelry, bags and shoes for someone not earning a large income and has spending challenges?   What are a reasonable amount of t-shirts for a woman of leisure?  So most of the responses are "I will get to the objects someday?"  My response is "when?"  Then we agree on a reasonable amount of time it will take for them to realize the relationship they are having with the object and if it "space worthy".  Like Elaine on Seinfeld understanding if a date was  "sponge worthy" we look at objects to see if they are "space worthy".  "Space worthy", meaning does it belong in your real estate?  Defining the objects worth is worthy of your time.

The decision about what to do with stuff is the biggest challenge with people who accumulate too much for their spaces.  I mean, Candy Spelling had a doll collection that was housed properly in a gazillion square foot room of her home.  She had ample space for her dolls and they were all organized and categorized.  The problem is that the average person does not have the luxury of that kind of space.  So I tell the person "your stuff is "taking up your real estate".  But still the attachment is there with the objects.  So I get that nod of understanding that the objects are crowding them out of their space, but with no understanding of how to organize their spaces. 

What helps a person with lots of objects and a lack of organization skills is understanding what is precious to them and what they have tired of.  Finding objects in back of closets, under beds, in corners usually is a sign they tired of the object.  Although delighted to see their object again, and of course the standard "I was looking for that", or "Oh that's where you were" statement they usually acknowledge that they had tired of that particular thing.  Then there are the random objects they purchased or accumulated from others deemed O.P.S. (other people's stuff) that they are really not that attached to.  Breaking attachment challenges to objects is no easy task and can't be undone in a day, so helping cluttered people and their spaces part with a 1/3 of their belongings is an achievement.  Parting with the items that do not trigger large emotional responses is usually easy for people. 

We talk about what is valuable (heirloom or just expensive and could fetch a pretty dollar), really meaningful (letters from a parent who died, or yearbooks, or moments), purposeful (things we all use on a regular basis, pens, paper, recipes, clocks, furniture, kitchen utensils, electronics), we talk about what is excess and that helps people make good decisions about what they keep, and why and what they do with it.

Then the last part of understanding what to do with the prized objects, after a good editing without any regrets, pushing or prodding, since the organizer or coach does not want to re-create the same parent / child type of object manipulation relationship over again, the objects, can become manageable with some great space planning, bringing in armoires, cabinets, drawers and proper space and containment for their goods.  Pushing and prodding are replaced with thought provoking statements such as "tell me about this?" or "what does this symbolize?" or "what is a reasonable amount?" or "will this object fill your hole and make you whole again?" and "what will make you feel whole and happy again beside these objects?" is a great way to a clutter free space.

Marla Stone, MSW, Retired LCSW, Professional Organizer, Lifestyle Coach, Décor and Feng Shui Specialist is here to help you to find your ideal lifestyle.  www.i-deal-lifestyle.com 

Having a messy and cluttered office space does not help you increase your business presence or the revenue.  It only makes you look bad to your customers and cannot feel good to be in the middle of a chaotic over run office space.  Even if you have no clients visiting your office and even if you are the only one that goes to your office it's not appropriate for you to work in a disorganized and cluttered place.  Orange County Professional Organizers will help you get your office organized, your emails organized and get all the paper trails managed, boxes sitting everywhere put away in the correct spot or area and put you back into the driver's seat of your business with easy access to your office supplies, notes, information and anything that will create increased harmony, peace and money.  Yes "Show Me The Money". 

Business Organizers Orange County has many, but who do you call to help you?  Well you call a Professional Business Organizer who will help you not only get organized but stay organized.  Going paperless was the best thing I ever did.  The old way is just far too demanding of time and just not a great method considering 80% of what we file we never access again.  Organizing jobs usually can take 1 day to several weeks depending on the size and the amount of stuff you own in  your office but the long lasting results make your life so much easier and happier.  Organizers are natural planners and organizers usually from the start to their life.  You may not be a natural at keeping organized so we coach you and teach you techniques to not re-clutter.  This is what differentiates our services from other organizers.  We have a proprietary method to keep you organized long term.  We do not like repeat customers, we like referrals to new customers.

Getting your office space organized and getting furniture that helps the office look nice is important.  It creates an organized atmosphere which stimulates you to stay on track with growing your business.  Organizing files and eliminating what you do not use on a regular basis and that you can look up anytime on the internet will really be a great way to start any business organizing project.  Understanding how to move towards paperless files and learn more about productivity and efficiency will be super helpful to your overall success as a business owner in Orange County. 

Summer Holiday is coming.  School is almost out.  You will finally have time to get organized, but where do you start?  Well the best solution is to first figure out what you value about your life to see which projects will mean the most to you.  Tackle things that will have a real impact in how you live your life to the fullest.  Think of three things you absolutely want to do prior to dying.  Ask yourself what are the top three things on your list of for sure in this lifetime.  You may want to travel, have happy grandchildren or write a book.  You may want a more beautiful home, garden or a new career or passive income.  So when you look at the projects you want to do, make sure they line up with your ultimate goals.  For instance if arranging your pictures by uploading them to DVD's does not somehow get you to the Far East, Have you Spending More Time with Your Grandchildren or allowing you to do some Creative Writing then maybe choose another project which gets you closer to your goals. 

Getting your home office in order, cleaning out emails and organizing an efficient and productive email system, while having ample office supplies accessible will help you with the above mentioned goals.  If you are not that great at organizing, suffer from ADD or ADHD Challenges you may want to consult a Professional Organizer in your area at www.orangecountyprofessionalorganizers.com  www.i-deal-lifestyle.com or www.organizersnow.com   These three sites have a lot of insight into Expert Organizing Tips and avenues to finding just the correct organizer for you.

It is difficult to get focused often if the outside environment is in a chaotic state, with kids running around, carpooling kids, husband working late, housekeeping and laundry.  I know by the end of the school year you are probably screaming at the top of your lungs or your inner voice is at least screaming loudly "Help Me Get Organized" "Help Me Organize". 

Nowadays we don't like to ask anyone to help us.  Our family may be far away and or our friends and family are just as burdened as we are.  People don't offer to help that much and we just feel uncomfortable asking.  That is too bad about todays world.  It would be optimal if neighbors, friends and family would help each other move things around, lift, pack, unpack, do some persona l assistance or just lighten up our load, but...... if you are not in that situation having creative tips for organizing is important.

Organizing Tips can be applied easily if you have the motivation.  There are literally 1000's of ways to get a home super organized but having the time and energy to clear out those closets, cut back on hoarding behaviors, find more storage solutions, build out the craft room, make that move or just design your favorite entertainment room can be a challenge with your busy schedule.  Why not allow a professional come in and make it happen.  Your participation is necessary but having a "Clutter Buddy" often works out so well you just will not be able to get enough of getting yourself organized. A Professional has home organization ideas so organizing your home can be simple as 123.  Organizing jobs, depending on how much stuff you have and what kind of furniture, storage space you have to utilize can take anywhere from 1 day to 3 weeks.  It just depends on the pace you want to take.  Professional Organizers are so great at, not only organizing homes or businesses but also organizing people, so life coaching is also part of a successful organizer experience.  Helping you with organized living and adding friendly ways to stay organized is the key to long term organization.

You can learn so many tips by going to http://www.i-deal-lifestyle.com/1/post/2011/06/living-a-happy-and-healthy-life.html  This Self and Space Organization blog is one of the best resources from a Professional Organizer on the internet. 

If you are interested in learning more about how to get organized there are internship programs with www.i-deal-lifestyle.com in orange county, California.  Also you can list your professional organizing, feng shui, interior design and or life and business coaching business on www.organizersnow.com